Archive for January, 2009
Here are some random pics from our recent Hostage series…
No doubt church planting offers one of the most up and down rides of ministry. It provides the highest highs and lowest lows and often these extremes can take place in the same 24 hour period! For our first 2 1/2 years, Grace Point did not experience many lows. Sure we had the normal struggles over budget numbers, facilities, finding people to serve, creating engaging environments, getting the word out to our community, and the multitude of other difficulties every church start faces. But amidst the normal craziness of the ride, we experienced explosive growth and saw lots of people come to faith in Jesus Christ. And the truth is when you are growing rapidly and watching dozens of people get baptized, the other struggles don’t seem quite so big. It is amazing how many people are along for the ride when that happens.
This past summer Grace Point began to experience something we have never faced – not only did we stop growing but we actually got smaller in size. Our attendance waned and our offerings dwindled. Now there are some obvious factors that contributed to this respite that explain why Grace Point entered this new season but the truth of the matter is this: regardless of the logical reasons, a lull is always difficult when all you have known is increase. For the first time our “constant” was no longer there. Here’s a few things I have discovered when that takes place…
- Our tendency is to over-analyze it. When we began to face the reality that we were going the opposite direction we wanted, we began to try and ask every question under the sun why it was happening. As the leader, I began to doubt some of the strategic decisions we made. For instance, we relocated this summer to a bigger facility but one that is slightly outside our primary target area, difficult to find, and outside the normal flow of traffic. The facility itself is much nicer and bigger and what we need for future growth. But the development of the community has not quite caught up to the new facility. It will catch up in the next few months and then many of these issues will no longer be issues. But when you make a strategic decision and then things turn south for a period, you begin to question your decision. When the going gets rough, try and analyze what is going on but don’t over-analyze it. Control what you can control and don’t try and control what is outside of your control. For example, we can’t control the fact that the City shut down one of the main roads to the high school shortly after we moved in. But we can control how we strategically use signage to help people find an otherwise difficult place to find.
- At some point almost every growing church goes through a season of slow down. I actually think a season of slow down can be healthy if you use it wisely. We are trying to just face the reality that GP could not continue to grow at the rate which it grew in its first few years. We are now three years old. We are no longer the “hot ticket” in town when it comes to churches. We kept telling ourselves the slow down would come but I’m not sure we were prepared for it when it hit.
- Pruning seasons provide opportunities for deeper and better growth. I have several mentors who have been encouraging me that this season at GP will make us stronger and better equipped for future growth. That’s the mindset you must adopt in a season of slow down or you will drive yourself crazy.
- During rough patches, people will question your leadership. As a leader, I have discovered people will think you are the greatest leader in the world until things get tough and then suddenly your leadership doesn’t seem so great. We are bandwagon people by nature. People pull for the sports team that is winning but as soon as your team does not make the playoffs, you think every coach, QB, and WR should be fired (speaking from experience here). I feel like I have good parenting skills until one of my kids has a rebellious season and then suddenly my parenting stinks. Businesses that are exploding have brilliant CEOs until the business tanks and then suddenly the company heads are idiots. The same thing is true in church life. We exalt the leaders whose churches are exploding with growth but as soon as things dwindle, that dynamic leader doesn’t seem quite so awesome. During rough times, continue to be who God created you to be (even when others question it).
- People will bail on you. It is amazing to me how many solid, giving, serving Christians will leave a church when it hits a season where the church needs them the most. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t think GP is for everyone. We have a lot of people who come through and simply don’t connect to the vision we believe God has given us and that’s okay – the kingdom is big. But it is disheartening to me how many people who have claimed to be committed to the vision in the past will suddenly believe God is calling them elsewhere when things get rough. My advice is this: don’t leave a church when it needs you the most. If you are a faithful tither and your church is facing some huge economic issues, don’t bail. If your church is in a down season and needs faithful workers, don’t bail. Hang in there. If God is leading you somewhere else, that’s cool but question whether God really wants you to step away during this particular season or if He might want you to be faithful where you are at until things begin to turn around again.
- Expect the unexpected. We were in one of the fastest growing areas of the nation until the last 6 months. Now we are in one of the fastest declining areas of the West. New communities and new growth has come to a stop. And hundreds of people are walking away from their homes and relocating out of our area. There is no way we could have anticipated this blow. So when the unexpected happens, accept the fact that it will affect your growth patterns, giving, etc. Again – control what you can control and leave the rest up to God.
- Stay with the vision. There is a temptation in a rough time to alter the vision but it is during the difficult seasons that the vision may be all that you have. Stay with it. Don’t fall prey to the temptation to change who you are as a church. Evaluate things that might be contributing and adjust accordingly but do not change the overall vision.
When the going gets rough, it is a fight to survive. And if you don’t keep things in proper perspective, you might not make it.
- Hung out with friends Friday & Saturday nights – do kids have to spend the night with each other every single time your together?
- Watched a brainless movie on Saturday night – need the mental break on occasion.
- Spent a lot of Saturday trying to recover some files I though I had recovered but evidently have not. Still trying to get them – they represent a lot of hard work and hours.
- Sunday was a great day at GP.
- We are starting to see a lot of new faces again.
- The teaching seemed to connect to A LOT of people. I received more feedback on this message than any I have taught in a long time.
- We had several adults commit their life to Jesus on Sunday.
- We had dozens of adults indicate they were harboring bitterness and wanted to take steps toward forgiveness.
- Days like this Sunday remind you why you do what you do.
- Not much exciting happened in the sports world this past weekend.
- Playing golf today with a visiting out of town friend. Of course it has been mid 60s and 70s every day until today.
More later…
This Sunday I am talking about bitterness. As I have prepared this week, I have realized that there are so many defining characteristics about our lives that are tied to our life experiences and how we handle them. For instance, I admittedly have a hard time trusting people at a deep level or letting people into my closest circle. I also have a high loyalty expectation – I expect loyalty and seek to maintain loyalty toward others to the highest level (maybe to the point it is a bit unhealthy at times). Why am I this way? As I have studied this week, I realize that a large part of it has to do with the fact I have been hurt and wounded in the past by people I allowed into my inner circle. I have felt betrayed at times by people I trusted.
If you are a leader at any level, you understand the dynamic it creates in your own heart and life when you feel like someone you have trusted has suddenly betrayed you (whether they feel it is justified or not). It creates a sense of insecurity in your own life and skews your perception of others. On a couple of different occasions, I have had people betray me at a deep level. As a result of that reality, my perspective tends to be jaded by my own experiences.
When you get hurt or feel betrayed or wounded, bitterness is a natural by-product. Bitterness eats at your soul. It is like poison – it is internal and has deadly potential. If you allow it to grow and fester, it will soon destroy you (and those around you). At the same time, it is one of the most difficult feelings to overcome. Bitterness can hold a person captive for years. The Bible describes it as a root – roots sink deep. They take hold. They grow deep. And eventually they sprout some type of fruit. The problem with bitterness is that its fruit is always deadly – anger, malice, contempt, hate. The fruits of bitterness can generate some serious chaos and destruction.
The only way to purge the soul of bitterness is through forgiveness. But here’s the deal: bitterness that is rooted in a genuine hurt, wound, or betrayal is difficult to overcome. It is difficult to forgive people who have hurt you – particularly if they seem to show no remorse. And yet without forgiveness, bitterness will destroy you from the inside out.
I am struggling this weekend to teach this truth in a way that is not just cliche. How do I overcome bitterness? Oh – just forgive. Simple to say but difficult to do when you have been abused, molested, hurt, wounded, betrayed, or hundreds of other sins that cut deep. It is only through the gospel – the truth that God forgave us – that a person can truly learn to forgive (Ephesians 4.32). It is only the gospel that truly purges the soul from the poison of bitterness.
I believe forgiveness is often a process. It is not always easy to forgive. And many times it is only possible through the enabling grace of God Himself. Have I learn to overcome all of my bitterness? I don’t know. I am still not sure how I would respond if I encountered a few people who have hurt me deeply. But what I do know is that I will not allow them to continue to hurt me through my own bitterness. I would say I have learned to try and forgive them and then trust that God is continually refining this process in my own life.
Will I ever learn to trust deeply again? Probably not. Will I always live with this borderline unhealthy need for loyalty? Probably so. Is my life forever shaped by life experiences that created bitterness and its lethal fruit in my life? Absolutely. But through God’s enabling grace can I learn to forgive and move forward? Completely. Bitter or better – the choice really comes down to whether I choose to forgive.
UNC is back – great win.
American Idol is getting redundant.
Lost – Season 5 – Episode 1: WOW!
6 pm – 8 pm:
8 pm – 9 pm
9 pm – 11 pmish (tivo style):
Can’t wait!
Last count the AP article that featured Grace Point was in over 70 news outlets! That’s cool.
We even made the Wii News Channel! The picture they used on the Wii channel was my Mii – just kidding of course (if you don’t have a Wii or play Wii, just ignore the last joke).
Random thots from the weekend…
- Middle School Girls basketball tourney this weekend! P-U-R-G-A-T-O-R-Y Can they call one more jump ball please?
- Sometimes a daddy has to support his daughter even when its not that exciting
- 2 movies this weekend = 2 disappointments (Mirrors & Apallooser)
- Great NFC/AFC championship games. Hope the Cards pull the upset in the Super Bowl.
- UNC won but still not that impressed with the last few games
- Taught on worry on Sunday – very relevant subject.
- Jesus has some strong words regarding worry in Matthew 6.
- Used the God Box vs Me Box illustration: very memorable (ripped off Craig Groeschel).
- Lots of new faces at GP in recent weeks.
- With the help of my friend Dave Nowag, I was able to recollect all my lost Word docs off my old PC’s reformatted hard drive. It is amazing what some software is capable of doing.
- I have about 30 hours work getting rid of the virus and reformatting my old laptop. I would like to punch the person who created that virus in the throat (metaphorically speaking).
- The two positives? I now have a new Mac & I now know a lot more about computers
- You can learn how to do just about anything through Google.
- Historic day in American history tomorrow. Agree or disagree with the choice – still a historic day.
Grace Point was one of the feature churches in a recent Associated Press article on year-end giving. The AP hits Yahoo News, Google, News, USA Today, and several other major newspapers and outlets.
I have an extremely sarcastic personality and sense of humor. I have to be careful how I interact with people because not everyone “gets” my sense of humor. I can easily offend if I am not careful (while not intending to do so). I have noticed that there are only a couple of times in our culture where it appears to be acceptable to make fun of people and get away with it.
1) Stand-up comedy. I love to watch and listen to comedians. I think a public speaker can learn a lot from watching comedians because they are so engaging. Some of my favorite comics are those who “make fun” of all types of people. It is funny to me how these comics can say basically whatever they want about people’s race, religion, political point of view, appearance, or whatever and get away with it. Obviously there are still some lines you can’t cross and get away with it, e.g., Michael Richards a.k.a. Kramer, but for the most part comics can poke fun of almost anyone in society and few people get offended.
2) American Idol. I will confess it – my family watches American Idol. If you are a fan, you know that the show kicked off its latest season this week. If you know anything about the show, you know the first few weeks are basically the judges running around the country to various large cities where a select few contestants get to appear before the sacred 4 and showcase their talents. What you also learn quickly is that the American Idol producers allow 3 types of people through to appear before the AI trinity (turned foursome this year): 1. Incredible singers who make it through with no hesitation, 2. Really good singers who may or may not make it, and 3. Some of the worst singers in the country who somehow think they have talent. I have often asked why they let group 3 appear before the judges. We all know the answer don’t we? They provide us some people to legally make fun of, to laugh at, and not feel bad about ourselves. It is kind of the “laugh at/with them” except I have never seen one of these humiliated contestants laughing. I have seen several of them crying and feeling completely embarrassed and humiliated. Yet it is somehow seems justified for us to make fun of them because everyone else is laughing. When you think about it, in what other context would we justify misleading someone to stand before millions of people and do something just so we can be entertained, make fun of them, and laugh at them?
I have often said that if I was doing anything other than what I am doing, I feel like I could be a decent stand-up comic who just sarcastically makes fun of things and people. That would allow me to justify my tendency to see the humorous in the non-humorous and point it out. Or would it? Maybe I should opt to be an American Idol judge, then I could make fun of people in the name of television entertainment – oh wait, I already participate in that event every Tuesday night from 8-9 pm.
You have to admit – our culture can be kind of weird in how we select when it is appropriate to humiliate people and when it is not. Wrong time and wrong place can get you in a lot of trouble. Right time and right place just lets you join millions of others. Sometimes that seems a little jacked up to me.
“She bangs. She bangs.”